ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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