Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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