I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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