Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
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Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
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Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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