Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I could make wine with my vomit
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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