remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize