youre lurking in front of me
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize