I hope mine doesn't look like that
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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