I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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