I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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