I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize