We're facebook friends in real life
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize