a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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