I skipped work to stalk him.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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