i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize