Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize