"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
he laminated a picture of his dick.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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