I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
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God gave him joint rollers for hands
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
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Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
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