sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Ladies don't puke and tell
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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