If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize