at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
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Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
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How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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