guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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