The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
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i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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