that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
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no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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