was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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