my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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