Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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