I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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