Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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