therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
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I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
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she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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