Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize