he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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