i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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