So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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