Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
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His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
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