u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
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Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
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ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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