I CAN MOONWALK!
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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