i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We need to get me chipped asap
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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