so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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