So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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