whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
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Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
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You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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