Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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