See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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