so let's talk penis.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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