Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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