RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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