Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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