I feel great
I just peed on a car
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
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We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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