How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
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You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
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You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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