i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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